by: Kyle Olson
Do you know who I'd kill to see Tom Waits live? You and everyone you've ever cared about. And frankly, I'm thinking it's about to get to that point (so you better get your grandparents into Anne Frank hiding mode).
The man simply does not tour. He holds the same appearance schedule as Bigfoot (random and unpredictable). When he does assemble what could be considered a "tour," it's more akin to haphazard wandering around the country, which will occasionally happen with folks of his advancing age.
And that is the heart of my concern: Tom Waits will turn 59 this year, and he already doesn't tour, so what's going to happen as time goes on? I fear for my ability to witness his unique blend of bourbon-soaked vaudeville-rock delivered with his trademark voice: a mixture of cigarette butts, broken glass, tar, and fire.
Imagine my delight, then, that earlier this year, Mr. Waits announced the Glitter and Doom tour! Finally! A tour!
But what's this? The closest he's coming to Southern California is Phoenix, AZ? What did those jackasses ever do for anybody?
OK. Fine. I'll drive to Phoenix. And pay the outrageous Ticketmaster fees (a practice I boycott in all but the most dire of circumstances). But what's this? It's a Tuesday? Tom. Why do you hate me so? Thankfully, the fine folks at THE INTERNET have delivered a bootleg from this tour, which can be downloaded here Now I can hear the man himself tear through "Anywhere I Lay My Head" and make up stories about how I went to Phoenix that one time to see Tom Waits and drove all night to get back home just in time to go to work.